Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Cameron, Sarkozy: The Real Reason For Attacking Ghadaffi

Rio: In a revealing interview today, the leaders of the UK and France, David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy, insisted that the reason they are militarilly involved in Libya has nothing to do with its oil supplies.
"Look, let's be very, very clear about this, I know that some crazies out there think that I and my brother, Nicolas, are using bunker buster bombs in Libya and doing sweet F.A. in Yemen or Syria, simply because there's a jolly large amount of oil in Libya and none at all in either of those countries.
Well, that's a load of twaddle. I know our friends in Portugal and Qatar who are joining us and our US Allies in this humanitarian mission, feel the same as we two do. Ghadaffi is a baddy. He's really bad. Assad in Syria and Saleh in Yemen are not that bad. That's why the lovely Qatar government sent military support for snipers to kill protesters in Yemen, ( the protestors are the baddies there), and sent military support to kill Ghadaffi to Libya, ( because he's the baddie there). It's just difficult for the public to understand the finer detail of things. This is about democracy, European and American democracy. It's about destroying the real baddies. The Interim leader we like, who's a real goody,  is Jibril. He's lovely and very European. He wants to privatise the Libyan oil fields. That's just an aside though. We like him because he is a goody. The Libyan civilians are goodies too and we want to save them. The civilians in Yemen are not as good. It's simple but still very, very complex. I am very posh and went to Eton so I can understand all this but most people aren't posh and didn't go to Eton, so they are what I like to call, "diplomatically retarded". They simply can't tell a baddy from a goody. Oh dear." David Cameron said.
Nicolas Sarkozy was more direct, "I'm very handsome. Have you seen my wife? She's rich and very beautiful and tall. We make love all the time, any chance we get. She loves it because I am so, so good at it.  I climb right up on her and off we go. She can't get enough of me. Ghadaffi wants to take women like Carlita away from great people like me. He wants to take away all the beautiful women of Europe and make them into belly dancers for himself. He also wears dresses sometimes. This is bad. This was the problem with Osama Bin Laden too. You can tell a baddy from a goody by the clothes he wears. If he's a man and he wears long dresses, he's probably bad. Except of course, if he's Saudi or indeed, our Uncle the Pope. It can be complex, like David says. It's not something I expect the simple people of Europe to understand. I am a really great lover ,though and I do this for all the great lovers of Europe. That's something the people can understand. Save your beautiful women, men of Europe. Let's make mince meat of Ghadaffi and feed him to Carlita. This is about goodies, baddies and very beautiful women but definitely not about oil  "

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