Pat Rabbitte: Dog Licence and Voting Charge To Apply To All

Rio: Pat Rabbitte, Minister for Duplicitous Rhetoric has announced a raft of new taxes and charges in the wake of his proposal that a new 'Communications Charge' would replace the old TV Licence fee.

Pat Rabbitte Buying A Licence For Someone Else's Dog

Diane Abbott Says "Sorry About Slavery" In Twitter Race Row

Rio: British Shadow Health Secretary and notable black person, Diane Abbott has apologised today for causing a huge public row with comments she made on Twitter.

Some White People Neither Dividing Nor Conquering

Mayan Fella Reveals Reason For 2012 Prophecy: "We Were Fuckin'Fed Up With The Same Old Shit Hombre"

Rio: A genuine Mayan fella spoke to PornCrabCombo from his hut in Chichen Itza today about the controversial long cycle Mayan calender which appears to end on December 21st 2012. The ending of the Mayan calender on that date has sparked fears that the world will end in some really scary way before 2012's end. Buluc Chat, wearing a loincloth with his arse bare, like a total Mayan, welcomed us into his home.

Mayan Woman Says "Sorry about the apocalyptic prophecy an' all but facts is facts"

Enda Kenny State Of The Obvious New Year Address

Rio: Taoiseach Enda Kenny will address the nation once more in a New Year's speech which will be televised this week. "He has been so buoyed up by the excellent feedback he received from Fine Gael party members after his last State of The Nation speech, that he has decided he should bring more words of wisdom to the beleaguered Irish public, in its hour of need. He will be using the same speech writers too, as he admired their professionalism and indeed will use some of his favourite lines from the previous address", said a spokesperson for the Fine Gael Party Sunday Independent newspaper.

Enda Kenny Talks Death Today