Wednesday, 13 June 2012

ESRI Finds ESRI Would Be Better Off On The Dole

 Rio: An ESRI report which was launched yesterday and then hastily removed from public view, was said to contain some shocking findings.
ESRI Pie Charts Showing Facts And Figures About Dole Bums

 Doomcha Cromwell, author of the report said today, "I stand over all of my findings. I don't understand why my report was removed from the ESRI website. I found clear evidence, by doing pie charts and graphs and things, that the entire ESRI would be better off on the dole. ESRI reports are notoriously good at finding things out and they are always correct. If someone in the ESRI says things like, 'There'll be a soft landing' or 'People are living the life of feckin' Reilly on the dole', it's guaranteed 100% correct. I'm an economist and through my economization bar charts, I've found that people on the dole are living it up big style. So much so that people who are working in low paid jobs should probably hate them and be really like, jealous of them? Someone removed my findings from the website but the report got lots of publicity anyway, so that's good. Like, life on the dole is like, so good, that maybe the few people who are still working in the country should have a dole bum pogrom or something? They're easy to spot as they're all obese and have gout due to their over consumption of well hung game. It's just a thought but it's an ESRI thought and they're better than the average thought. I'm like, an economist?"  

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