Thursday 5 January 2012

Diane Abbott Says "Sorry About Slavery" In Twitter Race Row

Rio: British Shadow Health Secretary and notable black person, Diane Abbott has apologised today for causing a huge public row with comments she made on Twitter.

Some White People Neither Dividing Nor Conquering
"I am sincerely sorry for having caused such offence. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to everyone for several hundred years of black slavery.  I'm also sorry for the South African apartheid system including the detention of Nelson Mandela. Obviously, I'm sorry for the complete destruction of Africa and large parts of Asia through colonialism, an effect that still sees people die through provoked wars and malnutrition or disease all over the two continents today. I'm very sorry for lynchings in America and I must say sorry for the murder of various well known individuals, such as Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Steven Biko. Nazism is something I'm also not proud of, sorry about that too and I'm very ashamed about my part in the reduction of the Aboriginals in Australia and the Native American Nations to the level of animals. I'm mighty sorry for using former colonies such as Jamaica and Haiti as slave islands, keeping the economy so depressed that the people must work as modern day slaves to produce Disney T Shirts. I feel bad about all these things I've done but the thing for which I must apologise most and about which I feel most ashamed is when I wrote on Twitter that 'White people play divide and conquer'.  I don't know what I was thinking of when I said that. This statement has no basis in fact and is a dangerous racist lie. If I'd had more than the 140 characters that Twitter allowed me, it would have read "White people NEVER play divide and conquer. Has anyone ever seen  white people divide or conquer black people? No siree bob! And anyone who ever says they do is a RACIST."  I must have been on crack, what with being black an' all. I'm soooo sorry."

No comments:

Post a Comment