Thursday, 29 November 2012

"Talking About Abortion Made Me An Abortion Addict"

Rio: Last night's Dail debate on abortion legislation was eagerly awaited and became quite spirited.
This is where it'll lead: Abortion Rave In England

"This is a debate about right and wrong, said TD for Mayo, Ronan Cochlann- O' Munch, while I feel terrible sorry for that woman Savita, we definitely do not need legislation. If we start legislating for anything to do with women and their dirty bits, we'll end up like our heathen friends across the Irish Sea. Over there they have walk-in, walk-out abortions, my friends. I'm not joking, I've seen footage of women actually walking in to an abortion clinic and walking out afterwards, presumably after killing an unborn baby. They were no more dying for an abortion than I am. This is what I know, imminent death is the only good reason to have a "medical intervention" to do with your dirty bits women. Nothing less. We'll get a committee together to decide who's dying and who isn't. It'll be made up of men, obviously. Women can't assess their own imminent death, they're always hysterical about their fannies and such like. They'd only say they were dying to get the abortion d'ye see? Unless the committee can see the grim reaper in the room, there'll be no pandering to slaggy abortion junkies."
Phillip Tearstain-Dripsey, TD for Mayo announced the findings of a joint Youth Defence/Some Mail Order University study of the consequences of legalising abortion in any form. "This study gives us irrefutable evidence that even talking about abortion rights, encourages more and more abortions. In fact, when women were allowed, in this country, to receive a telephone number where they could reach someone who would mention stuff about abortions in England, they increased their abortion consumption by 250%. If there is any legislation for abortion in any circumstances in this country, it is clear, from this report that women will become addicted to abortion, the floodgates will open and there'll be no stopping them"
PornCrabCombo mingled with the protesting crowd, ( a crowd that was mysteriously invisible to RTE commentators) outside the Dail last night. Several women admitted to having had abortions. Woman X said, "I'm here protesting because I want more abortions. My friend told me about her abortion and since then I've craved them. I'm addicted. Last Saturday night, I went out and I had such a goo on me for one that I got the late ferry to Holyhead. I couldn't arrange one on the spot, when I got there, which surprised me because I'd heard that over there they'll abort anything that moves. Anyway, I had to come home without having one and now I'm getting the abortion DT's. Jaysus, I love abortions"
Pro-Choice Woman Y said, "Of course I'm here to try and get RU-486 legalised for recreational use. I lived in England for years and while I lived there, the abortion culture took me over. Of a weekend, I like to drop 10 or 12 Miffy's, as they're known on the street. If we can get legislation for the X Case, as some of the politicians have pointed out tonight, it'd open the door to abortion on demand. Like any demand for abortion'd have to be fulfilled. It'd be cool!"
Pro Choice Woman Z said, "They've tightened things up in England now. I heard it used be that they'd give you an abortion whether you were pregnant or not but I got a voucher from a Protestant English friend for an Abortion Spa Weekend in Cheshire but when I got there, they refused to give me one because I wasn't pregnant. I'm hoping that we'll open the door to abortion on demand for all here, pregnant or not, female or not. It'll be great. We're all at it, us Pro Choicers"