Thursday, 13 December 2012

Youth Defence U-Turn: Abortion May Be Only Choice In Some Cases

Rio: Anti- Choice For Women group, Youth Defence, today announced that its "No Choice For Women In Any Circumstances" platform was going to be altered. PornCrabCombo was given an audience with Youth Defence's Duchess, Maleficent La Douche. We were excited to hear about the softening of Youth Defence's stance on abortion and were ushered into the throne room to meet Ms. La Douche, where she read out the following prepared statement.
Sights like this will become a thing of the past.


"We, in Youth Defence, have been accused of all kinds of things, including lack of sympathy and complete stupidity. While I refute both of those accusations, I do accept that Youth Defence's stance, has, in the past, come across as very trenchant and inflexible. Obviously, we are not going to allow choice for women in cases of rape as we all know that the world's leading experts on rape, American politicians, have stated categorically, that a woman cannot become pregnant due to rape. God stops that happening. If a woman claims to have been raped and then proves to be pregnant, I'm afraid that, in turn, proves her to be both a liar and a slut. It's not the ikkle baby's fault that the mother is that way inclined. However, there is one case in which, we believe, Jesus would have allowed abortion. That is the case where the child is irredeemably sick and deviant. Although we abhor abortion per se, we know that it would be impossible for a mother to continue with a pregnancy, were she to be aware of the fact that the creature inside her would become a monster. At the present time, there is no in utero test for the Gayness but we have been given a large donation by The Hicksville Foundation, to fund scientific research to develop such a test by the end of 2013. Of course, at present, we cannot support abortion in the case where a mother suspects foetal gayness as she may simply be deluded and just looking for abortion because she thinks it's cool. In that case, she may be aborting a perfectly normal healthy baby.We will then campaign for Gayness Screening to be mandatory for every foetus. While  a society's choice to allow abortion can have a terrible effect, we feel that the destruction wreaked by homosexuals upon the fabric of society is so unendurable that abortion becomes necessary. It is what Jesus would have done. He hated gays even more than he hated women.We should follow his lead. Happy Christmas."

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