Friday, 27 May 2011

David Cameron Declares Iceland a Terrorist State

Rio: King Of Posh, David Cameron, today declared that Iceland is, in fact, a Terrorist State.
"What appears to be happening in Iceland is very shocking. British Intelligence, (I won't bore readers with the contradiction in terms joke here), have provided the government with a dossier which shows, unequivocally, that Iceland has been promoting terrorism and dictatorship for years around the world. The secret evidence, in the hands of the British government, which we will be sharing with our Dutch counterparts, is impossible to refute.
 It is, of course, classified information but you can take it from me, the Iceland is a dangerous rogue state. We were first alerted to the issue by the apparent lack of real democracy in Iceland. In negotiating rather than just accepting the terms of the payback by every Icelandic person of money owed by Icelandic banks to organisations and people in the UK and the Netherlands, they signalled their move away from democracy. Then, in a monstrous move by the soi disant President, vetoing the implementation of  the deal and insisting that the people who were paying should have a say, they might as well have screamed, 'Help us, it's like 1970's Uganda' The rest of the government then joined forces with the rogue dictator President and accepted the 'No' vote of the people who elected them. Unbelievably, the government renegotiated the deal but the, by now savage, President, listened to what ordinary Icelanders told him and forced a second referendum. Beaten to submission by the dictator, the Icelanders, voted 'No' again. Each step on this doomed path was a huge step away from democracy. As we know in Europe and indeed, in the US, politicians know best, always. It is simply undemocratic for an elected representative and head of state to listen to the will of the people. That is not European Democracy. I am meeting with my EU counterparts this afternoon and with representatives of  the US administration to decide what to do. We may send some advisers to rid the country of this unpopular and dangerous dictator. However, we are unsure of just how embedded in the population the seeds of this anti-democracy are. We may have to look at a big clear out.  The population of Iceland is small but we will still need a bigger internment area than Guantanamo can provide. The Queen was recently gifted the entire County of Cork, in Ireland. We may do something there. The Irish are used to internment and are very democratic in a European way, they won't have any problem with us clearing Iceland and popping the whole lot of them into Cork. A while back we did something similar in Australia, that worked out fine for the natives. "

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