Friday, 6 May 2011

Osama Bin Laden Did It

Rio: How about we get all political as well as sharing our beauty tips and singing and stuff, (maybe do a few cameo appearances in Eastenders or Ros Na Run)? We're all angry about how the capitalist elite is wrecking our country. We could start a bombing campaign. Just destroying property mind you, no people involved. Then we could man some barricades and have one breast bare while we hold up the flag and become political and sex icons. We could start by bombing buildings we hate.
 I vote we start with "Earl's Court" on Cork Street. Firstly, because it's the ugliest thing I have ever seen. People should not have to look at something like that, nevermind live in it. Secondly, it's called Earl's Court, so it has obvious, establishment connections that we'll destroy.
Osama Bin Laden became really famous thanks to the Americans. If they need a new baddie, after Ghadaffi, we could be the new baddies! But sexier, obviously, than Osama Bin Laden was. He died years ago in my opinion but such was his usefulness, as a baddie, they pretended they shot him 2 week's ago, no, a week ago, no, today. No, a minute ago, we watched a video of it, so it must be real. He had a beard so it must have been Osama. We have the body. No, we don't. We buried him at sea according to ancient Islamic custom.
See, everyone's talking about Osama again. So, if we did a few bombings and again, I stress, no injuries to people, who knows where that might lead us. If a beardy fella who lived in a tent in Afghanistan can do it, why can't we?

Rio: Did you spell Patty Hearst like that to emphasise your accent Tippi? You'd wanna watch that, you'll reveal yourself too soon. You are so right though, that's the painting I was thinking about and Patty is the perfect modern day equivalent, style wise rather than mission wise. Let's wear black polo necks and Jackie O glasses.
On George Bush, of course he's smiling! He knows Osama Bin Laden has been dead for years and that this new fella who was gonna bring such big change, is now going along with this bullshit for his own ends. Obama has got with the programme man. He wants to attack Libya now but that'll be a stretch money wise and public opinion wise unless he can pull out of Afghanistan. You can't do that until the big bogeyman is gone. Osama was an American media construct, so they just got rid of him. George Bush is probably also laughing at how shoddily Obama handled the big summer blockbuster. What with all that, "we killed him last week but we were identifying the DNA" "No, we killed him yesterday but we're still sure it was him" " No, we killed him today but we're still sure it was him" "We're not releasing any photos" This while I watched Asian TV with a flashing image of a dead Osama Bin Laden. Even George Bush wouldn't have done such a bad job of getting the story straight. And the big laugh for George Bush and Obama is that the American public still appear to have bought that bullshit story! Of course he's laughing Tippi.

A German Farmer's market in Naas. No one saw the irony? I think we need to make some connections Tippi. We may be beautiful, hot and about to become famous for our style, beauty, intelligence, creativity but we need to also be eco warrior anarcho princesses. Let's do it! We're gonna change the world. Let's get drunk first.


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