Friday 20 May 2011

Angela Merkel, EU and IMF Endorse Roll Out of 'Eat Cock, Live Free' Program to Other States

Rio: Today, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, in an interview in popular German/French broadsheet, Der Fasciste,stated that she, personally, was in favour of rolling out Ireland's 'Eat Cock, Live Free' Program to other peripheral rogue states.
"Obviously, Greece would be the starting point. They would have little or no problem with the man on man aspect of it, as they invented homosexuality.
Then , I would envisage a roll-out to the Iberian Peninsula. Iceland, well they're a bunch of unco-operative fuckers, so I see problems occuring there, especially with the freezing temperatures. We're looking at using some kind of airborne super virus instead, in the case of Iceland. There aren't many of the bastards, even a weekend should rid us of that issue. I think it's wonderful of Ireland to take on board my sister, the Queen of England's, idea of eating cock in time of recession. That should keep people on their knees over there a little longer. The people of Ireland were the first in Europe to have the plastic bag tax, the smoking ban and an extreme level of subservience. With this new 'Eat Cock. Live Free' initiative they have outdone themselves."
A spokesman for the European Commission said, " With the Eat Cock. Live Free initiative, Ireland has shown the way forward to other rogue states and has also shown that, as a country, it is a true European. We hope to have the Irish Prime Minister to spearhead the roll out of the Program with Eat Cock demos in all relevant states"
The IMF made a brief statement of support for the Program's enlargement but no one was available for personal comment as they were attending a bail hearing.
Pope Benedict said today that he needs to read more of the detail of the initiative before issuing a comprehensive statement. However, the Pontiff's spokesman did say that he, ( the man in the white dress), has no objection, in principle, to the Eat Cock. Live Free Program, as long as the parties were not enjoying it. He also queried why it was an adults only initiative as he felt this would alienate the priesthood and Holy Orders and reduce their participation.

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