Monday, 16 May 2011

The Ultimate It Girl and Us

Rio: I know I said I was ignoring a certain visit to this island by a certain inbred freeloader. Yesterday's posts put paid to that, however. So, I was just thinking Tippi, one of our best options for fame is to become It Girls. It is my understanding that being an It Girl requires that one attend some social events and laugh irritatingly at those events. The only other essential is to be devoid of all talent in any area.
Now, I know that we are extraordinarily talented in so many ways. However, one of our talents is acting. We just need to act untalented. We have beautiful laughs but we can easily whinny in a delightfully horsey way. To this end, perhaps we should take advantage of the Queen's visit too. She is, afterall, the ultimate It Girl: no appreciable talent, does nothing whatsoever, gets shitloads of money as recompense for both. Additionally, we are paying through the nose for her visit, so why don't we hang around wherever she is. We could just be in the background wearing our belly tops and hipster thongs, displaying New Wave Beauty. We keep being told that the reason we're borrowing money to pay for this yoke to visit us,( and you'll note I'm leaving aside the 700 years of oppression here),is that it will help our tourist industry. So, I think we should do our bit for the tourist industry too. I can see them now, in Cheshire and other festering holes of soullessness, suddenly catching sight of me in the background. "By Jove", they'll say, "see how the light catches the creases on her stomach and her nipples rest about her navel. Jeeves, book me an Aer Lingus flight to Dublin, I must have a crack at the Mick immediately".
It's certainly worth a try Tippi. It's a fact that she's coming, we can do little now so, do we take this opportunity to launch our careers, or are our anti-royalty sentiments too strong? This whole fame thing is throwing up so many ethical dilemmas for us.


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