Thursday, 30 June 2011

Israeli Government: Irish Gardai Attack Irish Flotilla Ship, MV Saoirse

Rio: This morning a spokesman for the Israeli Government announced that Israeli agents had nothing to do with the sabotage of the MV Saoirse. The spokesman read from a written speech,
"We know that the destruction of the propeller and engine section of this Irish warship was nothing to do with us as Mossad, ( which doesn't exist), told us, the Israeli government, that we and they, ( who do not exist), had nothing to do with it. We have explained the situation to President Obama and he agrees that Israel had absolutely nothing to do with the destruction of this floating threat of violence against the Israeli people.
 In fact, the CIA and Mossad, (which does not exist), have incontrovertible evidence that the damage to the warship Saoirse was perpetrated by Irish Gardai. They held Irish passports in the names of  Garda Mullinahone O'Murphy, Detective Cliffs Of Moher Mc Heather and Detective Dingle O' Guinness. They weren't the same Irish people who killed the Hamas guy in Dubai. These were totally different Irish people altogether. But still very much Irish people. Just look at their very Irish names, totally unlike Israeli names. We have no idea why the Irish Gardai would have carried out such a mission to destroy this murder ship. Far be it from us to interfere in the business of a sovereign state"
A Garda spokesman, Commissioner O' Ihaven'tabullsnotion, when questioned about the Israeli claims, said,
"We did what? Did we? That'd be an ecumenical matter. As far as we're concerned it's not our position to get involved in politics. We may have done this, we may not. I will be checking with the rank and file. Our members are honourable. We uphold the law. Are you aware of the speed you were doing? Shows over lads.There were several incidents of violence against An Garda Siochana. Our duty is to protect the community. The suspect is helping us with our inquiries. The victim had a large knife protruding from her back and severe head injuries, she also had also been sexually assaulted and was buried in the back garden. At this time we are not ruling out foul play but we are keeping an open mind as it could have been a terrible accident or suicide. Women are very unstable. Having said all that, I believe it is in the IMF/EU Memorandum of Understanding which supersedes our constitution and all known law, that An Garda Siochana is to sabotage murder boats being sent to destroy the state of Israel...this is what I'm hearing in my ear piece.... yes, we may have done it. But as I say, it's an ecumenical matter"

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