Wednesday, 15 June 2011

IMF: Special Needs Kids, Take Your Medicine!

Rio: Irish Minister for Disinterest, Ruairi Quinn has announced that the Department of Education will be playing its part in stopping the rot at the heart of the Irish economy.
"Mr Ajai Chopra visited me at my home, late last night, floating out of a strange fog and hovering outside my window. Responding to his calls of 'Let me in, I'm your friend', I opened the window.  I frowned at him intelligently and then allowed him to feed from my neck. He sat me down and whispered the next set of rules from the Memorandum of Understanding into my ear.
He really is an enthralling man and he knows how to get us out of this mess. I said 'Me love you longtime'. He said 'No, we must get down to business. I shall ride your Irish ass later ' The next group of people who must be stopped drinking the life blood of this economy is of course, PEOPLE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. Children with special needs, especially. And the people who needlessly cost this country billions, Special Needs Assistants. They support those dangerous, autistic or Down's Syndrome children in their thieving of resources. The families of these freeloading lumps are worst of all, trying to drag the authorities into court, insisting upon basic education rights and that sort of nonsense. They are not like you and me, these types. They're not Real Europeans so we must refuse to pretend they are. We really don't envisage any rise in consumer spending to come out of wasting money on these freaks. In fact, those autistic ones, with their infernal temper tantrums when they are not having their needs met, are exactly what we do not need in Europe these days. Angela Merkel suggested an old German solution to the problem but Ajai felt that was a step too far, just yet. So,we are getting rid of Special Needs Assistants in schools in the hope that the Special Needs kids will just leave and go and live in a Special Needs colony on the Skelligs. We have already taken away all educational support from those other education thieves, traveller children.  Ajai says we'll just wait for them to die as they already have a very low life expectancy. Ajai thinks of everything. Once the Special Needs people and the Travellers are removed from our society, the Real Europeans should be able to get on with the job of getting this economy back on track. With the IMF, we can be strong."

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