Monday, 20 June 2011

Shock: Mafia Contract Out On Supercasino Bosses

Rio: FBI sources have revealed that they have unearthed, during a covert operation, frightening details of a contract the mafia has taken out on the owners and interested parties of  the planned supercasino in Two Mile Borris, The Arse End Of Nowhere,( but surprisingly, in Michael Lowry's territory), Ireland. In secret recordings Johnny 'Spatz' Torturro, is alleged to have said, "Listen up guys, we are facing an uncommon threat. You may not have heard of this place, Ireland but there are people there, who are about to make life very uncomfortable for us, my friends. I, you, we, have a lot invested in Vegas. There's no place like Vegas, see Vegas and die they say..."

(Another voice)"I think that's Venice, boss..Ugh sorry boss"
"As I was saying,.. just take the body out ta the dumpster, .. aaas I was saying, see Vegas and die they say. But what makes Vegas so unique? It's beautiful buildings? It's pyramid? Maybe so.. but it's the fact that everyone can be a winner but mostly people are losers that makes it so good for us. Ha, ya gotta love the losers. What's being proposed here guys, in Ireland, in the 51st state, is going to ruin that. They've got this tradition in Ireland, get this guys, of not allowing gamblers to lose. I joke not guys. These schmucks have decided to build this supercasino, a monster, where if you lose all your dough, the Irish public will guarantee to pay you back all your money! No, I have no idea why they do it, I think it's some Irish Catholic thing. Funny kinda Christianity guys huh? Anyway, they start that crap, ba da bing, our profits fall through the floor. The whole world's gonna be hot footing it to Ireland. Any who, I got Danny 'The Slayer' Murdero from Chicago working on it. He's getting a team together. They're gonna eliminate the problem before it starts. Gonna take out this An Bord Pleanala, and all others who had anything to do with this idea. Ba da bing, problem solved. Taxpayers payin' for private gambling debts huh? I gotta tell ya guys, it was a new one on me too. Who woudda believed it?"

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