Monday, 13 June 2011

Moses and The Markets

Rio: A man called Moses was wandering around in a dusty plain area in Egypt one day,when suddenly a bush caught fire right in front of him. This was not so surprising as it's very hot in Egypt, (especially if you want democracy and you are being fobbed off by the same army fascists you fought peacefully to topple, putting your heart soul and blood into it), and there are some bushes which actually require fire to propagate. He was turning away from the bush when he noticed that the bush itself was not actually burning, the flame was being held within it. He thought "This is a bit freaky, even for me" He went closer still and heard a voice coming from the bush. The flame voice explained to him, in a very powerful and commanding tone, that it was, in fact, God. "I see, said Moses, but what's your name God?"
The booming voice from the bush, bellowed, "I am who I am. I am The Markets"

That was good enough for Moses. The Markets told him that he had to lead his people out of Egypt and to the Promised Land, (thought to be somewhere near modern day Los Angeles). He went to a lot of trouble to do this. No one else in the group could either hear or see The Markets but it was made clear to them that whatever they did, they had to keep The Markets happy. One day Moses was called to the top of a big mountain to talk with The Markets. He was gone for ages, so the people living and working and waiting at the bottom of the mountain forgot that their chief duty in life was to keep The Markets happy. They started doing their own thing, keeping themselves happy. Meanwhile, Moses was being given a Memorandum of Understanding by The Markets, at the top of the mountain. It was a set of rules to which everyone at the bottom of the mountain was to adhere, in order to be sure that The Markets would stay happy. Moses chiselled out the rules or commandments on two stone tablets. Down he went, only to discover that everyone had forgotten to keep The Markets happy and they were all having a good time, living co operatively and a bit too freely. Moses lost the plot and smashed the Memorandum of Understanding tablets. The Markets was none too happy either. So, The Markets visited a few horrors upon the people. The people learned their lesson and realised that if The Markets wasn't kept completely happy all the time, they'd pay, maybe even with their lives, (if they lived in Africa, South America or some parts of Asia), certainly with their health and happiness, (if they lived anywhere in the known world but specifically if they lived in Greece, Ireland, Iceland or Portugal). They bowed and scraped and copped theselves on and Moses and The Markets forgave them and wrote down the rules again. None of the people understood The Memorandum of Understanding as they just weren't as clever as Moses. The rules kept changing as well and this and the fact that the people were just too stupid, meant that Moses and The Markets had to train up a load of people who were very clever and who could explain the rules and the changes, as necessary. These people were given various titles depending on the time or country in which they were living; such as Pope, Politician, Lawyer, Banker, Accountant, Economist, CEO. Not all people who had these titles were very good at the job of either interpreting the rules or keeping The Markets happy. In the  20th and 21st century, however, the Politicians became, to a man, outrageously good at keeping The Markets happy and the people became incredibly stupid and really needed them to intercede with The Markets on their behalf. So, The Markets decided to change the rules to make sure that the stupid people might vote but that their vote meant nothing as the Politicians from now on would talk to the people but the Politicians would then defer to the CEO's who had a 'Special Relationship' with The Markets. The CEO's kept The Markets super happy and the Politicians told the people, who were thick as could be by this stage, that as long as they worked towards complete happiness for The Markets, they'd be happy too. It's an ongoing story but currently, they don't look too happy in Greece or Spain.
To be continued.....


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