Tuesday, 21 June 2011

EU: Greece, Just Hand Over The Islands And No One Gets Hurt

Rio: In a press release issued by the EU from its official orgy sauna in Brussels, it emerged that the EU is being very patient with the Greeks but unfortunately, they appear to be less 'mature' and 'flexible' than their Irish counterparts.
"We, the EU, being Kings of the World, declare that we are mightily fed up with this Greek nonsense. Putting aside their laziness, extravagance and dirt and even turning a blind eye to the fact that they invented homosexuality, we have come to the conclusion that we have been pushed far enough.
 We have been very, very generous indeed already, as anyone of sufficient maturity will recognise. We can't keep funding their below the poverty line lifestyles anymore. We, the Real Europeans work while they play, inefficiently. It's time for the Greeks to stump up and shut up. We are writing up a new Memorandum of Understanding. Top of the list this time are, the Greek Islands. If the Greeks want our very generous loans which will save them from themselves, they will be required to sell their islands. We have already received an offer of 'absolutely nothing, not a red cent' from Shell, BP and ELF for a number of the islands. We think this is a fair price. A price that the Irish were only too happy to accept for their gas. Of course, in this case, there's no gas involved. Not the tinyiest bit. Shell and BP will merely be purchasing the islands for absolutely nothing because they like islands, especially in the Aegean Sea. No other reason whatsover. The other islands will be purchased by the Netherlands, the UK, Germany and France. We, will use them as holiday homes. Holidays are a requirement for people like us, as we work very hard, unlike the Greeks. The Parthenon will be moved, stone by stone, to Disneyland Paris. Other antiquities, that aren't already in British museums,will be doled out as gifts to the Members of the European Commision. It will be a novelty for the Greeks to give something to someone else. Frankly what else has Greece ever given to the world?"

No comments:

Post a Comment