Thursday, 26 April 2012

Harvard Research Team Discovers Person Who Gives A Shit About Republican Presidential Nomination

Rio: A Harvard research team, which had been working on a project to find intelligent life in the Capitol Hill area of Washington D.C., stumbled upon a find that has thrown all previously held beliefs of the scientific community, into disarray.
Capitol Hill Where Coelacanth And Chester Were Found

Prof. Ibrahim, who headed up the team said today, "There was consensus, in the scientific community, people who gave a shit about who received the Republican nomination for President of the US, were long extinct, as a species. We were wrapping up our ten year long search for intelligent life forms on Capitol Hill and were basically returning to Harvard empty-handed on that score, when we were approached by a man in a stetson. The gentleman explained that he was from Texas. He began to discuss our research and intimated that he saw it as important whether Mitt Romney, or some other rich bigot, took the nomination as Republican candidate for the Presidential nomination. We thought, at first, that it was just rhetoric on the man's part, but having further engaged him in conversation, we discovered that he truly believed it made a difference. He remarked that, 'some of them aren't anti- women, anti- immigrant and anti-peace enough'. He also pointed out that some of them wanted to reduce numbers of people being detained without charge or trial. While others, such as Mitt Romney wanted to double the numbers in Guantanamo Bay. He said, ' We want to at least double it boy'. It is an evolutionary anomaly as, of course, it doesn't matter, on any level, which rich bastard gets the nomination. As with the question of who is President of the US, it is irrelevant. people will die all over the world whichever of them makes it. The discovery of this dinosaur from a bygone era is very exciting for us as a team. It is akin to the shock discovery of the coelacanth. Of course, we didn't manage to find what we had come for, intelligent life forms but we did come away with something much more exciting. Chester, the gentleman we found is back in our research lab now. We are trying to ascertain whether he is operating completely without a brain or whether there are some small traces of human brain matter somewhere in his body."   

No comments:

Post a Comment