Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Enda Kenny Urges Yes Vote In Austerity Treaty Referendum: "Europeans Will Laugh At Us Otherwise And That'd Be Terrible Altogether"

Rio: Taoiseach Enda Kenny, just before the ICTU vote on its recommendation regarding the Austerity Treaty, has appealed to Congress and the public at large to support the government by voting yes to ratify the treaty.
All Things European. Yes We Can!!

"It's really important that everyone votes yes to the Fiscal Compact. Our European counterparts, ( and great friends), have explained it to me. It's fiscal and very compact and totally European. Being European is very important because that creates jobs and makes us happier. Doing things they do in Europe is essential to the recovery of this country. If we don't do exactly as our friends in Europeans say, something terrible will befall us. They will laugh at us.We don't want to be the laughing stock of Europe by using our democratic vote to vote in the wrong way. Not again! By even having this referendum, we are being anti European. The rest of Europe aren't having a vote at all. Real Europeans know that their politicians know best. So, we've got to make up for that anti-European mistake of allowing the people to vote by doing everything else in a distinctly European way. We are introducing a property tax and water charges because like, everybody in Europe has them. We're going to dispense with having an elected government altogether, that's what they've done recently in Greece and Italy so it's quite the European fashion. We're organising some pogroms to start next month. We'll be instituting a Pogrom Pilot Scheme in Leitrim initially, to see how it goes. We're going to be chasing people with disproportionately large heads out of their villages as there aren't many Jews in Leitrim. We want to decentralise the Europeanisation as much as possible. We're going to burn a load of women at the stake in Athlone. We'll be looking for women who show a bit too much interest in herbs for that programme. We'd be hoping that, when the Witch Hunt Programme is fully operational,  we'll be burning approximately 500 women per day. This will create pyro-expert jobs as well as positions in pyre construction. We'll be rounding up Jews, Gypsies and mentally and physically disabled people. We'll take Roma Gypsies for this scheme but our main focus, in this country, will, of course, be the Traveller community. We've already targeted these groups in a very European way by cutting all funding for Traveller education and reductions in SNA funding to assist the inclusion of Special Needs children in schools. We'll, of course, be using the tried and tested European method of ghettoisation first, then factory style reduction in numbers, followed by incineration in ovens. All of this will also create jobs. Minister for Justice, Alan Shatter has been given a special exemption due to his very European treatment of the Palestinian issue. In the next few years, we will begin an invasion and colonisation programme, targeting Africa and Asia. We see slave ship building as the next niche industry for this country. Finally, we'll be trying to get a really strong Far Right political movement going. It's an essential ingredient in being truly European. Fine Gael, obviously, started work on this a long time ago but we somewhat lost our way, when we lost Eoin O'Duffy. We've been trying to claw back the fascist talent in the party with great local work being done by Darren Scully but we're really looking for a star to head up the Far Right Programme. We will be starting a televised Far Right talent competition in September, where we will be looking for the Irish Anders Breivik. Leo Varadkar has agreed to head up the panel of judges as long as it doesn't interfere with his normal anti immigrant or bullying work. We know that the only way to get back our sovereignty is to become fully European. Vote yes or else. It's the European way and we are all European now"

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