Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Greek Referendum Crisis: Nicolas Merkel Suggests 'Eat A Greek' Solution

Rio: PornCrabCombo has been given privileged access to people close to the protaganists in the Greek debt saga. Emperor of Europe, Nicolas Merkel summoned Greek Prime Minister, George Papandreou, to Cannes to pay homage and explain his recent extraordinary behaviour in offering the Greek people an opinion on their imminent demise, in the form of a referendum.

George Papandreou And His Adviser Today
 A close adviser to Mr Papadreou said, "It's alright, George had to do something or be lynched by his own people. Of course, he agreed to the whole deal in Brussels. He thinks it's a great deal for everyone. The Greek parliament has already agreed all the austerity measures anyway. The new deal just formalises the handover of every asset belonging to Greek citizens, to Emperor Nicolas, Shell, BP, ELF and the Disney Corporation. George is cool with that. He's also cool with trying to get the Chinese to fund a sale of Italian bonds. Sure why not? It's simple democracy. George saved his personal political ass. He stays in power. We'll word the referendum so that it means nothing whatsoever. Ho ho, there are no flies on George. There'll be no question of the referendum actually making a difference to the Greek people but they might stop their infernal roaring and protesting on the streets and George gets to stay in the big house in the meantime. George will explain all of that to Emperor Nicolas. They're brothers, you know" A source close to Emperor Nicolas explained that he thinks differently, "He's incensed. He can't believe that PapanDeadManWalking, is even hinting at giving the plebian masses a chance to have a say on anything. He raged last night, 'I will kill the little greasy Greek turd. They are all like this, the Greeks. You offer them real European democracy, offer to take a load of islands and ancient treasures off their hands and they stab you in the back. Whatever next? Listening to the will of the people? I have better things to do. I need to get noody with Carlita. We are like crazy lapins. She's already gagging for me after that yoke I'm not interested in, (because I'm a man), was born. I'm so damn manly it makes my toes curl. I am suggesting a new pan-European initiative called 'Eat A Greek' . I'm getting a new food pyramid made up to facilitate this. They are so fat, lazy and homosexual that eating any more than one a week might endanger the health of the real European population. The benefits outweigh the risks though. Firstly, it'll rid the world of Greeks. After all, what have the Greeks ever done for the world? Secondly, it'll teach them a lesson. Thirdly, it'll teach everyone else a lesson about how democracy works. The initiative will simply encourage real Europeans to seek out Greeks and eat them, perhaps with a little taramasalata on the side. It's perfect. I'm going to launch the initiative tomorrow by eating that Pap fool with a baguette.'  The Emperor is very determined that this Greek nonsense be stopped today, one way or another" 

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