Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Cllr Darren Scully: "I'm No Wog Hater"

Rio: Following the furore that has blown up around comments made by, Fine Gael Councillor and Mayor of Naas, Darren Scully, the Taoiseach, Enda Kenny, made a statement to the waiting press outside Nicolas Sarkozy's bedroom today. The Taoiseach had come under pressure to explain the statement made by Mr Scully, on radio, that he would no longer represent, (as a councillor) "black Africans" as, in his former dealings with them, (when he did represent them), they were very "rude" and showed "bad manners". They also "played the race card".

A Man Who Will Not Be Represented By Cllr Darren Scully
The Taoiseach said, "Cllr Scully's comments were unfortunate and do not represent the views of the Fine Gael party. I, myself, have not worn a blue shirt in years. The days of Eoin O'Duffy are well and truly gone. There is no place for racism in the Fine Gael party. Anyone who says there is, is a liar. The President of America is black. He's not full breed but still, dark. I was surprised to find out this fact, the night before he arrived here. I didn't let it stop me though. I shook that man's hand, like he was just the same as meself. I even screeched like a Howler Monkey and practically beat my chest with the excitement on College Green, just to make him feel at home. He has beautiful teeth and he said 'Is feidir linn'. He's shockin' clever. In order to show how un- racist we are, I have approved funds this morning for all of the Fine Gael parliamentary party to purchase the full Thin Lizzy back catalogue, including all of Philo's solo stuff."
Cllr Scully, himself released a statement explaining his views,
"This is political correctness gone mad. I never said I had a problem with Africans. That would just be silly, there are billions of them. I will happily represent Africans, just not the black ones. That is not racist. That is a decision based upon my experience of meeting several black Africans. They were rude to me and did not show me due respect and good manners. Some of the five that I have met became so aggressive that I was sure they were going to go on a rampage of raping the good white women of Naas. I would say, 'Put down your spear, coon boy'. After speaking to me for a while, they then would say things like, 'You're not representing us because we are black Africans'. I don't need to tolerate lies like that so I decided that from now on, I will not represent black Africans. I won't be rude to them or lynch them. I will simply ignore them and point out someone who can tolerate the smell of them a bit better than I, who might be willing to assist them. I'm no wog hater."
Mr Leo Varadkar, Minister for Mouthing About Everything, said, "There are no racists in Fine Gael. We will clear up this matter tomorrow, when we allocate funds to pay these rude black Africans to leave the country. A sort of clear out. We won't tolerate this kind of thing in Fine Gael"

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