Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Obama: Europe's In Financial Trouble, Everything's Cool And Unoccupied In The US

Rio: President Obama, speaking from a presidential strategy conference being held at George Bush's home, gave words of sympathy to financially beleaguered European leaders today. President Obama answered questions during a ten minute recess between the 'Compromise: The Republican Way' and  'Find Your Fascist Heart' sessions.

A Completely Empty Wall Street Today
When asked about the apparent breakdown of the world's financial system and the enormous financial problems in the US, President Obama became truly animated,
"Let's be very clear. We are all aware that the problem lies in Europe. The leaders of Europe are very clever though, albeit in a non American way, and they will sort out their problems soon.That will make everything better everywhere. Of course, it's the Greeks who caused all this. They are dirty, lazy and my friends Angela and Nicolas tell me that they invented homosexuality. Small wonder then, that things are messed up."
When asked again about the situation closer to home and the size of US debt he said,
"Let's be very clear. The problem, as we all know, is with Europe. There are no problems here. Everyone is happy. Our system works just fine. If it weren't for Europe, (and perhaps, the Palestinians), everything would be fine."
Mr Obama was questioned by a British journalist about the thousands of US citizens who are occupying Wall Street in New York and other public spaces around the States,
"Heh, heh. I'm afraid you might have that wrong sir. There are no occupations going on in this Land of the Free. If there was anything nasty like that occurring, our free press would most certainly be reporting it. I see no reports here or indeed on your great BBC service. I am the President of the United States of America. Oh my Lordee, I am very powerful. I have a bionic eye, which I was given by the  CIA.  I can see just about everywhere with this eye. They adjusted it for me and I can see anything I want. Let's be clear about this, I see no protests, anywhere.Wall Street is fine and clear. What possible reason could US citizens have to protest? As my good friend, George Bush wrote on the board at last night's session, ('Delusion Is Good'), 'We don't get okapied, we do the okapying'. My friends in Europe tell me that this kind of thing definitely did not go on in Spain either. I fear sir, that you could be mixing the Land of the Free up with the Land of the Dirty, Lazy, Homosexual. Greece."


  1. Love it! Nice one!Your dirty, lazy, homosexual, Greek friend!

  2. Yeah, yiz love that kinda talk. Filthy Greeks. PornCrabCombo would still be swanning around in their SLK's if it weren't for you lot.