Monday, 27 August 2012

UK: Destruction of the NHS? Look over there! Is that a naked rich man?

Rio: Following Prince Harry's 'Naked Romp' in Vegas last week, where pictures of same appeared all over international  news websites, British politicians and future experts are saying they expect more 'Naked Cavortings' to come to light in the near future.

Important News

David Cameron said today, "It's a very sad indictment of our society, whereby odd, extremely newsworthy things such as rich princes getting naked, come to light and distract the masses. However, these things need to be discussed. Lots. Some chavs caused this. American chavs but chavs no less. I need to go and make sure everyone's still discussing cheeky Harry's 'Crazy Frolics'"
George Osborne, when questioned while on holidays in the Maldives, said, "I've done some sums. I'm rather good at sums see? And, by my calculations, we can expect more of this over the coming months and years. Rich people being naked and the like. Why did the Secret Service allow this happen? We'll never know, will we? But we do expect Prince Phillip to shit himself in public next week"
 Fashion expert and famous type, Victoria Beckham said, " I'm expecting to be very, very thin in a couple of weeks time and I won't be discussing it but you will. Shortly after that, for the winter season, my husband David will not be fucking some other celebrity behind my back. This will clash with the implementation of some draconian anti-social government measure but I always hate anything too matchy-matchy, so clashy-clashy is fine for the coming season." London based,Thinky Tanky Banky, Future Forward, published its seasonal forecast of expectations stating, "We are expecting the Duchess of Cambridge to continue to wear clothes in different areas of the country but we are looking at probably someone such as Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, robbing a bank for a lark and then fellating an armadillo. This kind of 'High Jinx' and 'Royal Prankster' behaviour will become more and more prevalent during the reign of the Conservative government. We just don't know why yet. Needless to say, these incidents will need to be discussed ad infinitum in every newspaper, blocking space. Again, we don't know why this will occur as yet"

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