Thursday, 10 May 2012

Alan Shatter: IPSC Cyberbullying Caused Me To Marry My Own Twin Sister

Rio: Alan Shatter, in a press release today, confessed that he, like Dervish, has been the victim of cyberbullying at the hands of the IPSC.
The Twins After Their Re Attachment Op

"The Irish Palestinian Simian Cranks, (IPSC) are, literally, the worst people in the world. They bullied Dervish unmercifully, explaining to them that there was cultural boycott in place against Israel, repeatedly. I married my own twin sister because of the bullying of the Ireland Palestine Serpentine Church, (IPSC). They goaded me with their taunts of 'stop supporting an apartheid state' and 'you'll never find anyone as beautiful and clever and Zionist as yourself Alan', until I didn't know whether I was coming or going and I saw my twin sister and realised that was the closest I'd get to my own perfection. I know, because I'm a rather clever lawyer, that it's illegal but really, I couldn't find anyone quite as good as I am, so what was I to do? The Imitation Provo Select Committee, (IPSC), also bullied Al Qaeda into flying planes into the Twin Towers, they bullied Jesus into losing the cool with the Pharisees, they even bullied Vesuvius into erupting. Horrible. With their PLO scarves and chanting. Yucky bullies. Bullies."
It doesn't get better than this

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