Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Fine Gael: Every Child Matters, (Other than pikeys and yokes like that)

Rio: Fine Gael launched their Every Child Matters campaign today in support of a yes vote in the children's rights referendum.
This One Matters

Enda Kenny said, at the press conference held in the Fancy Suite in the Merrion Hotel, "All of the little pets are really dead important, let's vote to make sure they stay important. There'll, obviously, need to be amending legislation to clarify the amendment to the constitution but this can be done through the Dail later on. We can't have horse babies or piggy babies enjoying the same rights as human babies. Leo Varadkar is currently working on exemptions which we might list in a Statutory Instrument
Leo Varadkar said, "Let's be clear about this, we're talking about normal children mattering here, pikeys, darkies, thicks...all exempt. Any kid who's parents don't pay some arbitrary tax, obviously, can't enjoy the same rights as the kid of parents who care enough to pay whatever tax I feel like mentioning at the time. Pikeys, mental defectives, immigrants want shit like equal access to education. If all those immigrant yokes mattered, we wouldn't be able to stick them in Butlins when their parents rock up here looking to steal our women and Jobsbridge opportunities. Not everyone who just rambles along can matter. Mattering is a very important thing. The right to matter carries with it the duty not to come from Africa or somewhere equally yuck and the duty not to live in a caravan or social housing or any of that shit. We simply don't have the money for everyone to matter because Enda gave it to a bondholder a couple of weeks ago. End of. Cop on."

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