Thursday, 11 August 2011

Nicolas Sarkozy: France Has No Problems, Financial Or Otherwise

Nicolas Sarkozy, Showing Where His Loyalities Lie
Rio: French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, launched a stinging attack on the world's media and international ratings agencies today, from the donkey pen in Angola where he is holidaying with his extremely beautiful wife, Carla. Angered by the rumours that France's credit rating is about to be downgraded and  rumours about the funding of one of France's best known financial institutions, Societe Generale, which have resulted in massive falls in the value of French banking shares, he screeched,

"I ride ze donkeys, so what? I have to. Nothing else is big enough to take me. This sheet back 'ome is giving me an ache in ze balls. There is nothing wrong in France. France is strong. France has no problems whatsoever. I am France. Look at me! Have you ever seem anysing thees virile? Thees strong? Thees manly?. 'Ave you seen my wife Carlita? I own her. She belongs to me, me , me. I make sweet French, manly love to her all day long. I am so hairy all over, bugs get caught in my fur. So, thees sheet about the French economy is peessing me off big time. Those ratings agencies told the truth about Greece, ( the lazy bastards), Portugal, ( dirty idiot peasants), and Ireland, (I like them, they grovel extremely well), but now they lie about France. I am France, so, they lie about me! Look at my high heels! Do you think someone who can manage heels this high, would not see a banking disaster coming down the line! Impossible! Societe Generale is manly, like France, like me! I am having the new Marianne modelled on myself this week. I blame those Spaniards. Dirty, dirty peacefully protesting scumbags. They started these rumours about the French economy because they are jealous of me. They know, they could never 'ave sexy love time with Carlita, as I can. Spicks. I can't stand them. I'm going to kill every last one of them and feed them to Carlita.


  1. A couple of points to fill the gaps! 1St: Carlita, besides being a cracker of a lady, is also a fellow "comrade consumer" eco-capitalist! 2nd: The Greeks are not lazy, they just pretending!!

  2. Glyko, this is a report on the comments of Nicolas Sarkozy. He, clearly, is of the opinion that Greeks are lazy. While this is an opinion shared by many, PornCrabCombo neither endorses nor challenges this opinion. If you disagree with Mr Sarkozy's opinion, you should direct your comments to the Elysee Palace. Your opinions on Carlita are duly noted and concur with the facts. Again, however, PornCrabCombo only reports the international news, we cannot offer judgement. We offer high quality journalism on this website. We must be careful to ensure that we keep up our very high standards of unbiased reportage at all times.

  3. Helpppppp!!!! That was proper stick, I promise I won't do it again, I saw the light. I

  4. Ok Glyko. PornCrab forgives. You just have to remember that PornCrab reports the facts. Nicolas Sarkozy has a right to ride donkeys and to the opinion that Greeks are lazy. Afterall, he's very, very manly. Have you seen his wife? She's a sign of just how manly and brilliant he is. He's a very honest person too. We, at PornCrab, love him, if truth be told. However, we don't let that get in the way of our highly professional, unbiased reportage. Let's all move on now.