Wednesday 19 June 2013

Michelle Obama In Horrific Near-Drowning Incident

Michelle Obama was being treated last night in the Blackrock Clinic, a chic medical outlet in a leafy Dublin suburb with unparalleled views to the UK.  Sources close to the most important woman ever to have set foot on the island of Ireland, say that Mrs Obama is still being treated for shock but that the worst of the medical emergency is now behind her.
Mrs Obama goes down in a sea of Bono's love



 A spokesman for everyone powerful, Crunch Mc Nad, announced that the drama began yesterday in Dalkey, a leafy Dublin suburb with unparalleled views to the UK, when Michelle Obama, the most amazing person to ever take a holiday anywhere, met for a private luncheon with Philanthropist and Tax Genius Rock Star, Bono Vox. The spokesman explained that a luncheon is a meal, taken in the middle of the day, similar to lunch but for rich people. It appears that the First Lady Ever to Walk Around a Library Quietly, was enjoying the private luncheon when she got into trouble. "Mr Vox's spittle became too voluminous as he prostrated himself. The First Lady struggled to catch her breath. Her personal security staff, were not aware that Mrs Obama was in trouble until the very last moment. She appeared happy and relaxed but Mr Vox's famous slobbering and fawning, was, in fact, dragging her under. She was not waving but drowning."
Bono Vox has been involved in several other VIP drowning incidents. On more than one occasion, former President George W. Bush narrowly escaped death while meeting with Bono. "Mr Bush was a stronger swimmer than Mrs Obama and as Mr Vox salivated heavily, filling up the Oval office, he was able to kick for safety. Mrs Obama, however, was not prepared for the onslaught of his glands, nor the sheer ferocity of Mr Vox's admiration for powerful people who like killing other people in great numbers" said the spokesman.
A spokesperson for the Blackrock Clinic said, "The First Lady to Never See a Beggar in Dublin, is doing very well. We're happy to host her here at the Clinic, where she will not be disturbed by sick people and can take in the wonderful views to the UK. "
 

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