Tony Blair Found In Gadaffi's Tripoli Compound

Rio: Libyan forces seeking to overthrow Libyan leader, Colonel Gadaffi, got more than they bargained for, last night, when they managed to overrun his secure compound in Tripoli.

A Truly Contrite, Tony Blair, Today

"We were very shocked at the scenes that confronted us, when French and American forces drove us into the compound in stretch hummers. We climbed up on the walls with some guns they handed us for the photo op, when we realised there was still a large group of people inside one of the buildings. We bashed our way in, to find that a party was going on. People were dancing and canoodling all around the room. It was a very unusual sight. In the centre of the room were two men slow dancing, the dictator and a Westerner, we did  not recognise.



The Slow Dance Scene That Confronted The Libyan Rebels

We were later told that he is a very big man and that he would maybe be our new dictator."

Tony Blair, speaking outside the compound, some hours later said, "Look, let's be clear about this. If I have done something wrong, I will go and talk to my own brother, the Pope, about this. As far as I'm concerned, I was on holidays here. A bloke needs a break from Christianising the whole damn world you know. If I made a mistake it was an honest mistake in that I honestly believed I was having a good time with, what we like to term, a 'good little Arab'. I've been in here in this compound for two years now. I was in no position, with Gadaffi on top, to find out that, in fact, he is now a 'bad little Arab' again. He has gone the way of those other, once good Arabs gone bad, like Saddam, ( he was frightfully good, then terribly bad). At least we can all rely on those really good Arabs in the House Of Saud to keep things in order. So, if I did something wrong I am dreadfully sorry. The whole thing is quite cleared up now though and as this very oily kip of a country is in need of a safe pair of hands, I am to become Libya's Sultan. It makes sense, I am the obvious choice. The natives are very happy about getting democracy so quickly. No hanging around with me chaps. Straight in with the democracy. You can all kiss my ring now."