Qadaffi Considering Run For Irish Presidency

Rio: It has been revealed that Colonel Qadaffi is considering an invitation, by Micheal Martin, to run for the office of Irish President. It is understood, by PornCrabCombo, that in a late night phonecall to Qadaffi's hiding place in a US naval base, in Qatar, Mr Martin, Fianna Fail leader, gave assurances that Mr Qadaffi would run purely as an independent candidate and would not be associated with Fianna Fail in anyway.

Qadaffi Emerging From Nato Hammam Today

"We will simply make sure that Mr Qadaffi receives the required number of nominations to put him into the Presidential race proper", Mr Martin's spokesperson, ( who does not wish to be associated with the Fianna Fail party), said today. Mr. Qadaffi's spokesperson, Condoleeza Rice, said today, "Mr Qadaffi is giving this some serious thought. He has to be wary, the Fianna Fail brand is so toxic at the moment, he does not wish to tarnish his international image."

Gay Mitchell, Fine Gael's presidential candidate said, upon hearing the news, "This man is not what the people of Ireland need. He's frankly, far too liberal, religiously and socially. He had female bodyguards, for heaven's sake. They didn't even wear dresses. If we had that kind of thing of going on, how would we ever get women back into child bearing in a big way? His killing of people who didn't agree with him was admirable though. I'd certainly write a letter to stop him getting killed on that basis; if he converted to Christianity, of course"

The EU issued a statement saying, "We do not wish to interfere with politics in individual member states. However, Mr Qadaffi will not be allowed, under EU laws which we are drawing up at the present time, to run for the Irish presidency. While we admired Mr Qadaffi's style of 40 year democracy and would wish to implement the same style of democracy in Europe, he is now a 'bad little Arab' and as such, is not entitled to run. Furthermore, there is a European Directive in place which states that 'no persons, who are remotely popular with the people of Ireland shall be entitled to run for the office of president'. Mr Qadaffi is far more popular than any of the current candidates and so is excluded from the race. We have already enforced this directive with several other prospective candidates." Mr Qadaffi's decision is expected in the next few days.