Rio: Irish Prime Minister, (or Taoiseach as he used to be known), announced the eternal gratefulness of the Irish people to the EU for allowing Ireland 2 days of sunshine.
"I speak on behalf of all Irish men and women when I say to Monswar Sarkozy, Heil Merkel and King Cameron that we love you.
These Real European leaders pushed through reforms which have changed the lives of every Irish person, for the better. The sky is blue, it's 25 degrees and we have our friends, our partners, to thank for this. We would be nothing without the EU. It's way more than we deserve. The people of this country aren't fit to lick their democratic boots. In acknowledgement of this gift to the Irish people, I am moving into the Elysee Palace to act as Monswar Sarkozy's gimp. As soon as I saw the sunshine yesterday morning, I knew Nicolas had something to do with it. I rode across the sea on the backs of a few pregnant Irish waitresses, (they swim beautifully),to France and crawled on my belly to his door. Out he arrived, he's so handsome, in his high heels and silk kimono, so very manly and powerful. 'Eh, yes, of course it is we, your European Partners, who have given you this sunshine. See how we love you, though you have been so very, very bad. Sniff my handsome scrote and go tell your people of what I have done for you'. So here I am, saying thank you once more. The people of Ireland deserve to be cannibalised for their badness. Now,look what Europe has done for us instead!!! 2 days of sunshine. I hope this will put an end to the griping from some quarters about agreements we have with our friends in Europe. They love us. The next group of Irish slaves will be sent to work in the Krupps factories in Germany next week. We will be doubling the slave container size as a thank you."
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