Rio: A government insider revealed this morning that Enda Kenny was shocked to discover, last week, that Senator David Norris is, in fact, a homosexual. The news was said to have been broken to him by that great friend of the Irish people, Ajai Chopra ,in a late night visit. Mr Chopra is said to have floated outside Mr. Kenny's window, scratching, with his yellowed nails, on the pane of glass.
"Let me in, I'm your friend", he is said to have half whispered, half hissed. In his famed IMF/EU trance, the Taoiseach walked to the window and allowed Mr. Chopra to enter, (as is his wont when in this state). The source claims that once Mr. Chopra had had his fill, he whispered the devastating news into Enda Kenny's ear. When the Taoiseach awoke the next morning, he felt sore and was strangely pale. He couldn't remember what had happened the night before until much later while in his office at the Department of the Taoiseach. The source said that the Taoiseach suddenly screamed, "Dung Pusher" and dropped his cup of Barry's to the floor, splashing the shoes of the Department's new owner, David Cameron. "Why did none of yiz tell me? Sure I hadn't a clue. We can't have a feckin' manhole inspector running for President. I don't even know how it suddenly came to me that we've got a prancing queen shirt lifter running around the place here. Sure, if he became President he'd have the whole country gay within 45 minutes, like that Icelandic Prime Minister. Thank God, I noticed this all by meself lads cos I couldn't be relying on youse lot. Sort this out, make sure the country knows what he's really like. Shannon, Shannon, rendition flights, I dunno lads what's got into me head at all. And another thing that's just come to me, I love that Pat Cox fella'. Like, I really love him. I'm gettin' wet, ( of eye), again lads, just thinking about him"
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