Latest Queen News: Dublin City Ethnically Cleansed

Rio: In a bizarre twist in the "New Maturity" story today, many thousands of Irish people have been removed from the streets of the capital. Sources say that they cannot be found but that Amnesty International is focusing it's investigation where remains have been found on Rockall. A press announcement from the Queen reads, "One finds the New Maturity does not extend to having to look at the Mick up close and personal and Enda didn't think my view of the GPO should be spoiled by their big red heads and whiskey noses. Not now when one owns it again."