Rio: The thrilling news that Greece has started to resolve its financial problems, through a decision to change its Prime Minister from an elected politician to an unelected banker, has been met with warm praise from World Emperors. Speaking from the World Emperors' Spa in Haiti, various Emperors reacted enthusiastically to the news that Lucas Papademos is to be the new PM of Greece.
A visibly drunk Empress of Europe, Angela Sarkozy, said, "This is excellent, isn't it? Papandreou was good but this is so much better. Papandreou's actually still inside here, in the sauna, as a matter of fact. He played a blinder with that referendum nonsense didn't he? Mein Kampf, how we laughed and I made a killing on the markets with those lovely sharp falls. But, we've got the best Greek of them all now. Papademos is practically European. He was the one who worked out with Goldman Sachs how to sort the figures out so that Greece could get into the Eurozone in the first place. He'll sort out the transfer of title of all those lovely Aegean islands to Shell, BP and ELF. Former VP of the ECB. Adviser to Papandreou. He's a great guy and unelected!! It just gets better and better. It's sooooo democractic. Greece is now, what we like to call, a Democratic Dictatorship. Those fat, lazy homosexual Greeks are delighted. They love a bit of order. There is a large party taking place tonight in Athens to celebrate. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos are playing a duet. I actually own Nana, which is marvellous. I use her as a footstool. What's more, and this is my favourite bit, we've got the far right back in government in Greece. It does not get better than this. It's like the good old days. We have already rolled out the new Democratic Dictatorship model to Italy with a planned expansion to all EU countries within the next year. I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me, I've got to get back to the celebrations in the sauna and I need another drink"
A beaming, Christine Lagarde, head of the IMF, said, "Of course, our number one choice was the Greek IMF representative and that's what held up the process for a few days but Mr Papademos is fabulous. He's completely in agreement with our plans for Greece. We are hoping a large sector of the population will starve, others will be struck down by illness and unable to afford private healthcare. Thus we will reduce the numbers on the streets and the complete takeover by proper democratic Europeans will be effected swiftly, with the new Democratic Dictator in place. This is a new dawn for Greece and the world. No more need for costly elections, we, your betters, will help you out and democratically, select your rulers. Happy days!"
US President Obama emerged from the spa on all fours, with Benjamin Netanyahu astride his back, "You must excuse us, we were playing horsey. My good friend Benny here, likes to celebrate in an equestrian manner which befits a man of his stature. We, in the US, are delighted at the news that for the first time in history, Greece has given something valuable to the world. This new style of government they have invented, Democratic Dictatorship, is not just novel, it is a gift to the world, of which, even the Greeks Gods themselves, would be proud. Insert a platitude anywhere here guys, the bottom line is, this guy is a banker. This guy knows one thing; money. No need to know anything else. We love money in the US. We love this guy. These Greeks need a firm hand. They know that. We know that. What the Greeks don't know a thing about, (and they'll admit this themselves), is democracy. They have no history of it. With this appointment of a Banker Dictator, we, in the US, can feel proud, that we have shown the Greeks how it's done. Papademos. A Democratic Dictator for the 21st Century. Neigh."
The Chinese Emperor released a statement via iPhone. "We the Chinese delegation to the World Emperors' Spa are delighted with the news that Europeans have finally become open about their adherence to a similar political system to that employed in China. Long may Democratic Dictatorship continue."
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| Greeks Celebrate The New Democratic Dictatorship In Athens Today |
A beaming, Christine Lagarde, head of the IMF, said, "Of course, our number one choice was the Greek IMF representative and that's what held up the process for a few days but Mr Papademos is fabulous. He's completely in agreement with our plans for Greece. We are hoping a large sector of the population will starve, others will be struck down by illness and unable to afford private healthcare. Thus we will reduce the numbers on the streets and the complete takeover by proper democratic Europeans will be effected swiftly, with the new Democratic Dictator in place. This is a new dawn for Greece and the world. No more need for costly elections, we, your betters, will help you out and democratically, select your rulers. Happy days!"
US President Obama emerged from the spa on all fours, with Benjamin Netanyahu astride his back, "You must excuse us, we were playing horsey. My good friend Benny here, likes to celebrate in an equestrian manner which befits a man of his stature. We, in the US, are delighted at the news that for the first time in history, Greece has given something valuable to the world. This new style of government they have invented, Democratic Dictatorship, is not just novel, it is a gift to the world, of which, even the Greeks Gods themselves, would be proud. Insert a platitude anywhere here guys, the bottom line is, this guy is a banker. This guy knows one thing; money. No need to know anything else. We love money in the US. We love this guy. These Greeks need a firm hand. They know that. We know that. What the Greeks don't know a thing about, (and they'll admit this themselves), is democracy. They have no history of it. With this appointment of a Banker Dictator, we, in the US, can feel proud, that we have shown the Greeks how it's done. Papademos. A Democratic Dictator for the 21st Century. Neigh."
The Chinese Emperor released a statement via iPhone. "We the Chinese delegation to the World Emperors' Spa are delighted with the news that Europeans have finally become open about their adherence to a similar political system to that employed in China. Long may Democratic Dictatorship continue."
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