Michelle Obama In Horrific Near-Drowning Incident

Michelle Obama was being treated last night in the Blackrock Clinic, a chic medical outlet in a leafy Dublin suburb with unparalleled views to the UK.  Sources close to the most important woman ever to have set foot on the island of Ireland, say that Mrs Obama is still being treated for shock but that the worst of the medical emergency is now behind her.

Mrs Obama goes down in a sea of Bono's love

Youth Defence U-Turn: Abortion May Be Only Choice In Some Cases

Rio: Anti- Choice For Women group, Youth Defence, today announced that its "No Choice For Women In Any Circumstances" platform was going to be altered. PornCrabCombo was given an audience with Youth Defence's Duchess, Maleficent La Douche. We were excited to hear about the softening of Youth Defence's stance on abortion and were ushered into the throne room to meet Ms. La Douche, where she read out the following prepared statement.

Sights like this will become a thing of the past.

"Talking About Abortion Made Me An Abortion Addict"

Rio: Last night's Dail debate on abortion legislation was eagerly awaited and became quite spirited.

This is where it'll lead: Abortion Rave In England

Ministers Organise Sale Of Work To Raise Funds For Bondholder Payments

Rio: Irish government ministers, always at the forefront of fundraising activities, have been forced into the embarrassing position of having to organise a monster Sale of Work in order to fund  payments to bondholders.

Come Along And Support Your Bondholders

Enda Kenny To Receive Marcéhal Pétain European Of The Year Award From Grateful Germans Tonight

Rio: Tonight, in Germany, Taoiseach Enda Kenny will receive his well deserved, European of the Year award from some top ranking Germans.

 

Enda Kenny. Just One In A Long Line Of True Europeans

Fine Gael: Every Child Matters, (Other than pikeys and yokes like that)

Rio: Fine Gael launched their Every Child Matters campaign today in support of a yes vote in the children's rights referendum.

This One Matters

Kenny Supports Tallaght Hospital Overdraft: "Yiz Know It Makes Sense Lads"

Rio: Taoiseach Enda Kenny has come out in support of Tallaght Hospital in its plan to keep the hospital open by getting a multi million euro bank overdraft.

Wait a minute...Kenny Time!